Inklizard's Random Ramblings

At 4:28 a.m, I heard the snap. It woke me from a sound sleep, and I knew. Somewhere in my kitchen, the mouse was dead. I didn't feel relieved. Somehow, I knew that there would be more than one. Much to my dismay, I was right. Earlier this afternoon, I heard another snap. This time, under the kitchen sink. Just now, more rodenty scuffling. I think the invasion is in full swing. Not that I'm not getting my catnip's worth out of Vitto, but I was really hoping he could have this taken care of quickly. Just had a meeting with him and... well... Me:  Vitto, I thought you were going to take care of my little problem. Vitto:  You think you got problems?  Last week my old lady dropped a litter... looked like the freakin' Tabby down the street, but I'M the one that's gotta take a little trip to vet. Me: Um. Sorry to hear that but back to the mouse infestation? Vitto: Yeah, about that. See, I can finish the job for you, but it's gonna cost you, see. Me: I a...

One mouse does not an infestation make. However, THIS house is not big enough for me AND The Mouse. The Mouse has to go. I know, he's only a little field mouse. If he were in a FIELD instead of my HOUSE, I wouldn't have a problem with him. The Dog used to be good at keeping critters out of the house. Once he caught a rat before it could nest in my laundry room. The down side was that he had the dead rat on his doggy bed. Daddy removed the rat, and Mommy burned the doggy bed. I can't have dead rat cooties near my dogs. What kind of conscientious pet parent would I be? But back to the mouse... at first, I just wanted him gone. Relocated safely back to the field, government check in paw. I also thought The Dog would take care of this little problem quickly. Then, I didn't just hear the mouse, I SAW the mouse. And of course, screamed like a little girl. I'm not afraid of the mouse, I'm just completely grossed out by his presence in my home. He's track...

Things I've learned from The Shining The other day I was in such a bad mood that the violence of a horror movie seemed like the perfect balm to soothe my angry soul. I popped in Stanley Kubrick's vision of Stephen King's The Shining. I learned a few things from this movie, and thought it prudent to share with you all. They are as follows, in no particular order. SPOILER ALERT If you haven't seen this movie, there be spoilers here. Never drive a VW Bug in Colorado in the dead of winter. Kids are creepy. EVERYTHING is built on an Indian burial ground. Never take the creepy kid on a tour of the kitchen, then leave him alone to eat ice cream with the creepier cook. The 1970's were just as bad a decade for interior design as it was for clothing. If your creepy kid has imaginary friends in his mouth, it's time for medication. For everybody. Riding a tricycle on a hardwood floor would get your ass killed in my house. There...

As an unpublished author with only one manuscript out of 11 to have actually made it to "Complete First Draft" status, I try not to read too much about how to get published. I feel it's a bit of putting the cart before the horse to immerse myself in the politics of publishing, getting an agent, etc. I don't have anything to show them. So my first priority has been and will remain, finishing projects. Getting them to that coveted "Complete First Draft" stage so I can get to editing, polishing, and preparing a draft to be reviewed by an editor. I'll worry about query letters etc then. Other aspiring or published authors may disagree with my process. Please feel free to tell me why you think I should do things your way. I may or may not take your advice, but I promise I'll be nice about it. Speaking of being nice, that's one of the things I read about "What to do to become an author". It was more of a what NOT to do, and that is: Do not ...