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Showing posts from August, 2016

Bath is a 4-letter Word

It’s been 11 days since “the Incident”. I wasn’t allowed to talk about it before because 1) I couldn’t get the laptop away from Mom undetected and 2) my attorney, Frank T. Pug advised me not to say anything until the settlement came through. Well, the settlement came through. I’ll be dining on the finest cuts of chicken and steak for the foreseeable future. And the choicest of vegetables. Basically, no more dog food… ever. You’re probably wondering what Mom did that required Frank T. Pug to file a dogsuit on my behalf. (That’s like a lawsuit, but filed by dogs. It can happen, so you better make sure your dog well taken care of!) It all started a week ago Friday night. The parents were out, again, leaving me home to babysit their stupid puppy because Bella refuses to babysit him. And there was a storm and the puppy is afraid of his own shadow (haha, see what I did there?).  So he’s crying “Where’s Mom? Is Mom coming back? I want Mom” and I’m like, shut up or I’ll make you watch